Those under 5ft 9 dominate World Cup

Needless to say, the players of the World Cup so far have all been the short guys.
Messi has been typically brilliant, Tevez tonked in one from 30 yards on Sunday, and Diego Maradona has been receiving rave reviews because of his touchline antics and abuse of Pele. And my personal favourite, Javier Mascherano, has been biting into tackles like the cynical beast he is.

David Villa has just scored his fourth of the tournament and looks set to pick up the Golden Boot.

Even Jermain Defoe managed to score for England when he got a chance to start a match.

Meanwhile, lumbering oafs like Emile Heskey, Cristiano Ronaldo and Fernando Torres have consistently failed to make an impact. Why? The long season? Or the fact that they are overrated and always fail to achieve at the highest level?

It particularly pleases me to see Ronaldo failing. He remains an easy target, but any man who blames his opponent for being small as the reason why he got elbowed in the teeth (see blogs past) is surely a man who needs his comeuppance at the hands of Villa and Iniesta.

Such a shame to see him wasting his time playing football when he could be doing something useful like apple picking, or reaching up to high shelves in libraries.

Perfect weekend for Jermain Defoe

A perfect weekend for one of the sporting darlings of this blog. Yes, Jermain Defoe (5ft 6.5ins) got two major write-ups in this week's News of the World. He bagged the front page of the sport section with his goal for Spurs against Chelsea to raise the prospect of a top-four finish for his team.

And the predatory Defoe also made it into the news pages for a 'brazen sex act' in a car just 100 yards - that's just 100 YARDS (gasp!) - from children playing in a leafy Hertfordshire village.

http://www.newsoftheworld.co.uk/showbiz/786122/England-ace-Jermain-Defoe-caught-playing-foul-with-red-head-in-car.html

I think we've confirmed beyond all doubt that the genius short man has a predisposition excessive sexual encounters. But what with Defoe's red-hot form this season, allied to his almost constant presence in the celeb columns, I believe that for Defoe, the two things go hand-in-hand. Without the prowling for sexual partners, you would not have the goalscoring prowess.

What concerns me is that during the World Cup Fabio Capello might be too strict on our star man, and not allow him the attention from women he deserves, possibly hampering our striker's chances of doing his best for his country. I'm sure Fabio would allow Jermain special dispensation to roam the streets of South Africa late at night looking for women if he realised how important it was to this short man to have his manliness reaffirmed by random women before big games. I imagine Fabio, in his wisdom, has this all in hand, but it would be nice to know that he has Jermain's wellbeing is being fully considered as we approach the World Cup.