I'm officially pint-sized

I always suspected as much. But it's taken the death of comedy great Norman Wisdom to get the thing confirmed.

I am, in tabloid parlance, pint-sized.

The Sun clarified the matter for me. Wisdom at 5ft 4ins was a 'pint-sized comedian'. I measure up at that height, or perhaps a shade smaller, so I'm within the bracket.

This puts my mind at rest, and also leaves me to fantasise that one day I will be tagged by the redtops, 'Pint-sized Purnell'.

I know little of Norman Wisdom. As the incredibly useful article in the Sun said, his biggest hit was Big in Albania. This was because his were some of the only films allowed past the sensors in communist eastern Europe.

But the song does have a double meaning. I was in amongst the Albanians last year, when I was in Kosovo, and I can confirm that Wisdom was not only Big in Albania, but big in Albania. They are a truly pint-sized people, with most being less big than me.

In the wake of Wisdom's passing, it would be nice to see a cover of Big in Albania made by all the pint-sized popstars out there: namely, Tinie Tempah, Shorty and Aston from JLS. That would truly being a fitting tribute to one of the all time great comedy short men.

Aston from JLS - more than just a short man who does a backflip

I switched on my telly yesterday and to my delight there was Aston from JLS doing his thing - namely, that cheeky backflip.

This was a re-run of a live performance from last year but the delerious cries from the audience did leave me to consider if JLS would even be a going concern without Aston. I asked the question rhetorically because it is plain for any lover of Britain's Biggest Boyband Since East 17 that Aston is carrying the rest of the group into the limelight.

For the uninformed, Aston is the short one in the group and therefore of interest to this blog. He shares vocal duties with the rest of the band but in every other way keeps the group going.

As we have noted, most successful short men are incorrigible flirts, and Aston is no exception. In the great days of the London Lite and thelondonpaper (how I miss that Germanic word compound) day after day, there he was, out on the town doing his bit to keep JLS in the public's gaze.

Now, in these days of austerity, without the daily celeb fix from the London frees, we have to wait for Heat to come out each week to find out what Aston has been up to. And in the latest edition the intrepid Heat reporters have 'uncovered' that Aston is dating one of the Saturdays (it matters not which) therein linking JLS to the Britain's Best Girl Group Since Girls Aloud.

No doubt this liaison was thrashed out in summit between agents, in a modern version of a royal marriage, but casting aside any cynicism, you have to admire Aston's willingness to do whatever it takes to keep JLS on top.

So, my message to the other members of JLS is this. If you think Aston is simply the little one who does the backflip you are severely underestimating him. Out of the four chaps in the group, only Aston has what it takes for a successful solo career. Make him feel wanted - you need Aston more than he needs you