Showing posts with label Manchester City. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Manchester City. Show all posts

Sunday, 7 November 2010

World's richest club incapable of winning without short man up front

The sports pages of the newspapers - which are just the men's equivalent of Heat or Now magazine - have been full of news of Carlos Tevez.

Manchester City, the world's richest club with stacks of so-called world-class players at their disposal, have been outright panicking because of rumours that Tevez is homesick and is considering moving back to Argentina (or perhaps Real Madrid, which can quite often be the destination of homesick player, whatever their provenance).

They have a right to be worried. Despite having Adebayor, Santa Cruz, Jo and Balotelli to pick up front, it is clear for all the world to see that if Tevez is not in their team, they don't win. Simple as that.

This most expensively assembled of squads just ended a three-match losing streak. It started with the 3-0 pounding against Arsenal, when Tevez went off with an injury. Then he didn't play against Wolves, or Lech Poznan and they were beaten again and they were a game away from a full-blown crisis with Mancini's head on the chopping block.

Tevez returns for today's clash against the Baggies and they suddenly, miraculously, get back to winning ways.

No wonder they are rumoured to be offering him a monster 250k a week contract. Mancini and all Man City fans know very well that if they didn't have their short man up front, they would be a mid-table team, and perhaps even worse than Liverpool. Man Utd might not have truly known the value of their short man, but City certainly do.

Sunday, 28 February 2010

Craig Bellamy wades put the John Terry scandal to rest. But what does Shearer think?

It was with huge relief that after weeks of stories about the Wayne Bridge / John Terry ‘scandal’, a short man has stepped in to provide some sense on the matter.

Yes, it has taken some time before the world’s media thought to ask what Craig Bellamy’s take was on the situation. And, in a live interview on Sky after Man City had demolished Chelsea, it took him 10 seconds to effectively put the whole matter to rest.

Craig said: “I know what JT’s like and nothing surprises me about it, so I’m not going to comment on that guy. I think everyone in football knows what the guy’s like.”

And that’s that. No more hokum. Terry is a scumbag and you either accept it or you don’t. Thank you, Mr Bellamy, thank you.

Bellamy is one of those naturally divisive short men. (Playing in England, it probably also helps that he is Welsh.) Whatever he does he either inspires hate or admiration, usually the former.

I cannot help but have the greatest of admiration for the man. As a small man (in football terms, that is – he’s 5ft 9in) he’s had a career of playing second fiddle to a big man. He makes them look good and they don’t thank him for it.

That was exactly the case when Bellamy played with Alan Shearer at Newcastle. Here was the deal: Bellamy skins two defenders, hares into the box, draws the keeper, and lays the ball off to Shearer, who taps in. Shearer then takes all the plaudits as Bellamy seethes. Shearer could never understand why Bellamy would not acknowledge their feudal relationship as landowner and serf.

For anyone who has heard Shearer’s mixture of inane platitudes and bumptious arrogance as a TV pundit, we can only applaud any man who gets under his skin. Famously, Sam Allardyce tried to sign Bellamy back to Newcastle, a decision met with shock and derision by the then-retired Shearer. So angry was the ‘son of a sheet-metal worker from Gosforth’ that he used his Geordie legend status to effectively halt the signing and, moreover, put the hex on Allardyce’s entire reign at Newcastle. Ultimately, the upshot of this was that Newcastle were relegated while Allardyce’s current team, Blackburn, are comfortably mid-table in the Premier League. That’s what can happen when a short man fucks with your head.

We can only hope that Shearer is at home now, seething at Bellamy’s attack on the reputation of another former England captain. It is not beyond the realms of possibility that he and JT might be sharing a text conversation about Bellamy, using the adjective ‘short’ as a casual pejorative.

Craig Bellamy: you are a modern-day hero.