Is height difference at the root of the Gallagher brothers' differences?

I have a theory on why Noel and Liam Gallagher hate each other.

Consider the two men. Liam is the swaggering front man, coming in at around 5ft 9ins. Then there is Noel, the chap who wrote all the hits, measuring about two inches less. That puts Noel on the cusp of shortness, with Liam is stuck stranded in mid-size hell.

And there we have the dynamic of the relationship. The short one, with the talent, versus the mid-sized one, doing his best with the ungainly body size he has been handed.

What makes this even worse for Liam is that he has modelled himself on short men - namely, Richard Ashcroft from The Verve and Ian Brown from The Stone Roses. Two men for whom boasting goes hand-in-hand with songwriting genius.

Of course, Liam has tried to write songs. I believe he had a stab at one or two on the later Oasis albums. But a decent tune - a Live Forever, or a Slide Away - will forever elude him. Now, in his late-30s, he is to be found roaming the streets of Primrose Hill, forever angry, forever jealous of his more gifted sibling.

He has set up a new band, Beady Eye, which he boldly claims will be better than Oasis. But I think we can make our judgement now, before any tunes have been heard. Liam will never write a great song, or even one that drunk northerners will bellow at their birds in pubs.

Why? He was - and pity him for this - born too tall.